


It's a Metaphor

by jesusonaunicycle



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cas being a snarky bastard, Crack, Dean's a closet John Green fan, Humor, M/M, Mentions of TFiOS, Sexual Humor, this is the shortest thing i have ever written
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-08
Updated: 2013-11-08
Packaged: 2017-12-31 21:46:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1036731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesusonaunicycle/pseuds/jesusonaunicycle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas is confused as to why girls are walking around with unlit cigarettes in their mouths. Dean gets the reference, and tries to educate his friend.</p><p>Or, Sam laughs as Dean gets his ass handed to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a Metaphor

**Author's Note:**

> This was an idea I got while I was sitting outside, in my pajamas, and thinking about good metaphors. That led to thinking about John Green's "The Fault in Our Stars", crying a bit about Augustus Waters, and then laughing at where my thoughts went.
> 
> Original flavor sassy Cassy is my favorite in the entire world.

"But why are they walking around with them, Dean?" Cas asked, squinting in confusion.  They had stopped at a grocery store to restock the Bunker's food supply, and Castiel came with the Winchesters to do so.  It had been his first time out of the Bunker in weeks.  Dean had kept him under strict lock and key since he had come back from being kicked out, found by his friends (albeit by accident, of course) when he had tried to integrate further into human life by picking up a convenience store occupation.  He'd enjoyed the job, mainly because it made him feel useful and not because of the infernal devices he had to use and the equally infuriating customers he had to serve.  No machine could be that complicated, and while it still disoriented him being human, he couldn't understand how he could grasp some concepts such as driving, and cock up others like working the slushie machine.  But that was neither here nor there, for Castiel was again confused at something entirely different.  

Apparently, there was a new trend in the world, mainly circling around adolescent females.  Said girls would walk around in public with unlit cigarettes, the ones he used to sell frequently at his job, hanging from their mouths.  Cas watched them carefully (he'd liked watching smokers, it came from hanging around with Dean and Sam at seedy bars trying to get information on a new hunt), trying to understand why they hadn't lit the cigarette.  Normally, an experienced smoker would have lit the cigarette and be at least three quarters of the way finished with it, if not done and onto their second one, in half the time these girls would even produce a lighter.  And so far, none of the girls Cas had seen with these unlit cigarettes had even started smoking them.

"It's a waste," Cas said, gesturing to the most recent girl with an unlit Marlboro.  "Do you know how much those cigarettes cost?  Almost ten dollars a pack, Dean."  Cas glanced over at Dean to see that he was not looking at the Marlboro girl at all, but rather at Cas with an amused expression on his face.  "What?"

"It's a metaphor, Cas," Dean said matter-of-factly, as if stating that the sky was blue.  His green eyes were dancing with unheard laughter and although the sight was a beautiful one, Cas didn't like being laughed at, silently or otherwise.

"A metaphor for what?" Cas demanded, his voice raising a bit when some of Dean's reticent mirth slipped free.  He was loud enough that a few people walking into the Wal-Mart glanced over at them curiously, and Dean's face reddened at the unwanted attention.  They were sitting on the curb in front of the automatic doors, waiting for Sam to come back with their Subways sandwiches.

Dean chuckled and patted his shoulder affectionately.  "Relax, Cas.  It's a  _The Fault in Our Stars_ reference.  You know," he said, suddenly becoming self-conscious and lowering his voice, "the movie that's kicked up a lot of shit lately?  "You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing?" It was a book first?" Dean mumbled, looking adorably embarrassed at knowing such information.

 Later, Cas would properly inspect this novel, read it, and then watch the accompanying movie.  It sounded interesting; the wording from the quote was intriguing and had invoked some curiosity in Cas.  However, being human, he now had proper human emotions.  One of these, unfortunately, was annoyance, and Castiel was pretty annoyed at the moment.

"So?  Why are they doing that?  It is a  _waste of money_ ," Cas stressed, ignoring when Dean snorted with laughter again.  "Do you know how precious money is, Dean?  There could be a hundred better and more useful ways to spend that money.  Why are you laughing?" Cas hissed, glaring at the Winchester who had now dissolved into a fit of rich laughter.

Cas sulked for a while as Dean snorted and giggled, because that was what he was doing, the man was  _giggling_ at him, until Dean righted himself and wiped his eyes.  "I'm sorry, Cas," he said, grinning at an annoyed ex-angel who was squinting dangerously at him.  "It's just, I'm not used to you being so practical about money.  Hell, I'm not used to you being so...  _human_ ," Dean said, gazing at Castiel fondly.  Cas heard the hidden connotations in that word.  Attainable, tangible,  _real._

Cas knew he had been real before.  He didn't understand how he heard it in Dean's voice just then, or why.  Moreover, he only had the vaguest idea of what that might mean, or why it made him feel warm and fuzzy inside despite his surface annoyance.  So Cas just settled for looking at Dean, slipping back into a familiar practice and simply had a staring contest with the man.

"Do you understand why they have unlit cigs in their mouths now?" Dean asked, smiling brightly at him.  He'd been doing that a lot more, lately, ever since Cas came back.  It was humbling and made him feel special; he hadn't seen Dean smile that brightly since he'd met him.  "Do I have to tell you the quote again?"

"No," Cas said, narrowing his eyes at Dean's cheekiness, "but I do have something to say about it."

"And what's that?"

"Why are people flaunting the metaphor so much?  I understand it, but it is rather strange to see people walking around with it blatantly.  Soon enough, the metaphor will lose its meaning and become just another trend.  I mean, just because I have your dick in my mouth when I blow you, is that a metaphor?" Cas asked, loudly, and Dean went normal, healthy tanned to white and then beet red.

The sound of a plastic bag filled with sub sandwiches falling onto cement and raucous, shocked laughter broke the silence in the air.  A few wandering customers joined in immediately, pausing their hurry to grip their stomachs.  Cas looked up at Sam, who was trying to retrieve the Subways sandwiches and gave him a full grin, absurdly proud of himself when Dean cried, "Shut up, Sammy!"

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback would be much appreciated! c:
> 
> *I'm estimating about the cost of Marlboro cigarettes, and I don't know if Augustus non-smoked those, but they are pretty popular and I've seen stuff on tumblr with Marlboro Lights with the quote on them. This is just a bunch of guessing, crack and hoopla anyway. c: 
> 
> *The quote I used from TFiOS is on page 20 in the book and Gus says it. ;_; It was also not phrased as a question, Dean says it as a question to see if Cas had heard it before.


End file.
